True Love or War?

I remember heartbreak and rejection being such a long, painful process. Now, I prefer to gleen my lessons and move on to whatever is next and better for me. Whether it is a spiritual retreat, learning more about myself and getting clear about what I really want and need, or rejoicing over how perfectly dodged bullets (bullets being people who are NOT healthy for me) improve my selection process, I have learned that holding on to pain is not an option for what comes next. As I reflected on my choices and behavior over the years, I began to realize that I did not like to lose. I don't know anyone who likes rejection, yet the discomfort of rejection for me was less about unrequited love and more about not getting what I wanted from 'my invested emotions'. This was a difficult epiphany for me, as I always considered myself the woman with the biggest heart and truest love. What I realized was that the few people for whom I held real, true love for I treated very differently than those individuals I had held so tightly to when the relationships were less than balanced.

I was able to allow the people I loved the most long absences, without contact and still feel exactly the same way about them. I could have huge disagreements, uncomfortable misunderstandings and still not question the fundamental integrity of the relationship. I had been able to say goodbye, tears and all, to certain people and genuinely let go hoping the best of EVERYTHING for them - no matter what they were choosing without me. These are the people for whom I find that true love is not about holding and keeping someone like a prize, or an example of my worthiness. I just LOVE, as a verb expressed in countless ways toward them. It never feels good to be rejected or to experience the lack of reciprocity. True love is when you are still able to act from a place of authentic desire for the other person's well being, joy and happiness even when their choices do not immediately contribute to yours. It does not mean denying your own emotions. It absolutely does not mean allowing anyone to mistreat you either. It simply means it is less about what you are not getting and more about what they ARE. Even if letting go is the healthy choice to make.

Having to move on and release someone from your daily experience does not need to be a direct judgement of your worthiness, beauty, or anything else. If you find yourself not being able to let go, reach for yourself more. Embrace what you know and love about yourself. There will always be YOU to love. And that is best prize to win!

What do you love about how you love? What is it about yourself that makes you amazing? Contact me! I want to know how wonderful you are.